The world doesn't need another version of someone else.

Part 1 (AI-edited for “flow and readability”). 

I hear it all the time—in coaching sessions, creative workshops, even from kids:“Am I doing this right?”“Is this what you want me to make?”“Am I answering your question correctly?”

Beneath those questions is something deeply human: the yearning to belong, to get it right, to earn approval, to prove that we know what we’re doing. Somewhere along the way, many of us learn to second-guess our instincts and discard half-formed ideas, looking instead for templates: someone else’s version of how it should be done.

These days, we don’t even outsource our ideas to “better thinking others” (friends, mentors) but to a very polite superconsciousness (e.g. ChatGPT). The outputs feel polished, definitely superior to our first drafts. After the first edit our shoulders relax: no risk of exposure as a fraud, no vulnerability, no criticism. And also no self.

And so to the question of authenticity. In my 20s, I lived through what I can now characterize as a profound (and self-inflicted) threat to my “real self” as I vehemently tried to learn to be “better” (which actually meant becoming a me-version of some other people).  For years, I believed that if I just followed the habits of high achievers, if I walked and talked like successful people, I’d finally crack the code, get it right and be able to finally take a deep breath (vs the shallow anxiety breaths I was used to breathing).

Eventually (after my curated selves repeatedly failed to thrive), I learned that even when we’re following the best advice, it does not produce the same outcome. When we implement the best advice, the outcome is filtered through our unique life experience, our physical/emotional/spiritual body, our circumstances, our inner construction. 

Once I admitted and accepted that truth, things became lighter. (Still messy, still a work in progress, but lighter.) And overtime, I found myself here, with enough life experience to preach about originality and authenticity. 

Some people roll their eyes at the word “authenticity”, but for me, it’s still one of the best ones we have to describe this very important concept of being your “true” self. Authenticity is about legitimacy: what makes you real, trustworthy, and unedited, especially to yourself. It’s about originality: not because your thoughts are brand new, but because your mind is, your being is. Each of us is an original container and we don’t celebrate it (in fact, we try to dismantle it).

But actually, in authenticity we feel lighter, unburdened, more energized. This is one of the reasons I believe that creative practice and coaching are such powerful tools: both help you locate your center, connect with what matters, and embody it in your life with integrity.

In creative practice, you get to speak in your own visual language on your own terms, watching it evolve the more you practice. In coaching, you get a conversation partner so dedicated that you actually get to hear yourself and reawaken the inner compass that begins to direct you in a genuine and authoritative way. 

Here’s what I believe authentic living gets you:

• Sense of ease in the area of your heart/gut and solar plexus

• Louder laughter and permission to be weird

• Better boundaries with people who piss you off

• Ability to speak truth to bullshit (this is a Brene Brown phrase)

• Ability to follow through with your plans

• More comfortable clothes (meaning they actually make you comfortable, instead of reminding you that you don’t take care of yourself)

• A more fulfilling job (not synonymous with a better paying one)

• Better friends 

• Honest and meaningful (not always friendly) conversations

What could you add to the list? To summarize, find a way to be you and hold on to it with pride and joy. The world needs YOU, in full form, just as you were meant to be.

Part 2 (edited by me for grammar/syntax).

The world needs YOU? But what does it need me for? Aren’t there 10,000 others just like me, with the same big idea, the same delusions of grandeur and heartaches for a bold and bright future? Aren’t there 100,000 others just like me who make the best plans and never get past the second milestone? Aren’t there 1,000,000 others just like me who wish on shooting stars only to keep walking the same path day in and day out? What can I offer to this world to make a difference? 

Let me ask you. Are you a genius, a dictator or a billionaire? If not, do not worry so much about the difference you will make in the WORLD (even for them, it’s not guaranteed). You can’t and never will. Forget it. And what is so important about making a difference anyway? Do you want recognition? More love? Security? Money? No, I just see so much suffering and I want to make it stop. Then you don’t need to change the WORLD. Volunteer. Do it consistently and without expectations. 

But that seems too small, I want my work to be meaningful. What impact do you want to make? Do you want to be internationally famous and receive accolades? Whose opinions will be shifted by your accomplishments? Will wars stop? Will a third-world country’s GDP increase? Will the homeless and the sick become well? Will the animals and our planet suffer less? And most importantly, are you qualified? If yes, work obsessively at your craft for the rest of your life. Do not stop because the WORLD actually needs you. And if you are that YOU, you already know this. 

Most of us, in our need for originality and accomplishment, are fighting our own lack of self-acceptance. 

Every day you have a chance to make meaning. Start something (even something irrelevant, unrecognizable and under-appreciated), and if you enjoy it enough to continue, do it repeatedly. In 6 months, it will be meaningful without a doubt. This is not what stops you. 

Do you appreciate yourself? If you saw yourself on the cover of a magazine, what would the article be about? What in you is already changing worlds? What in you is waiting to change worlds? The world is not the globe. The world is someone’s heart. It’s your OWN heart for starters: the vibrations you drop into the ocean of karmic existence. Do your daily actions (e.g. your interactions with others, caring for your child, gardening, going to the gym, knitting, reading, learning to say “no”, speaking publicly) help to create a better YOU? If the answer is no, you will never change the rest of the world. 

Start with yourself. You are the only project you need. Help yourself breathe easier, help yourself be shiny, help yourself smile. Help yourself gain confidence without ridicule or disappointment. Help YOURSELF feel love and care and belonging, from within. Oh, and get off that app that keeps you hunched over and destroys your vision. Make things with your hands. Use your MIND, your VOICE, your EQUIPMENT. Experience the discomfort in how badly you do the things you are not familiar with. Experience the inner critic, the boredom, the pointlessness of your own hobbies. Don’t be embarrassed by it, don’t report it to your friends in a search for criticism or affirmation. Enjoy your real self peacefully, wildly. 

As you tend to yourself, your inner world becomes calmer. When it does, ask: WHY am I here?  Listen for clues and try more things. Only in the state of inner calm (grounded and replenished) can you be genuinely curious and receptive enough to sense your path. It will never happen in a state of frantic searching and regret. 

As I write this, I anxiously imagine uploading my first draft into chatGPT to check for “flow and readability”. “At least send it to a friend” (another, less valued gateway of approval), my inner dialogue pleads. Here I am: afraid and not trusting. What would happen if I posted exactly what’s coming out of my mind right now without any edits? How much ridicule would my honestly receive (even ridicule is attention), how much nothingness would it receive (is it better to make something that no one notices or something that at least 2 people hate).

Beneath these questions is something deeply human: the yearning to belong, to get it right. Somewhere along the way, I have learned to discard half-formed ideas, looking for a version of how it should be done.

Well, I ask myself, why did you write this? Did you wish to create a feeling in someone (and why?). Did you hope to master your thoughts or feel a sense of relief by throwing them into the world or do you simply enjoy your own thoughts so much (so self-indulgently?) that you want to decorate them in words and maybe even colors? My answer is “yes”.  I create to express what I think and what pleases me. I write to inspire courage and a new way of thinking in others. I want to help others feel seen. I desperately yearn to master my thoughts because Ibelieve to think deeply and vastly is a marvelous creative act. I create because I love myself and my work is an act of self-celebration. 

Final Thoughts: To know that I am someone who cannot look a stranger in the eye when asking a question for fear of imposing too much and simultaneously someone who feels such boundless freedom in the creative space is entertaining/puzzling/obvious/accurate. It tells me, shows me, without a doubt, that in the creative space we are free. In the creative space we are real, unedited and free. It is only when we invite “the observer” that our honesty, vulnerability, originality and authenticity become “not good enough”. Don’t be that type of observer in your own world. Encourage yourself in the small awkward steps. There will never again be another version of YOU. So I invite you, I encourage and implore you to be yourself and to create.